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Lieutenant Commander Therav th'Shan
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14th-Jun-2010 10:07 pm - Hnh.
badass
Have not heard hide nor hair from that engineering assistant in some time regarding his wayward Andorian children. Thank Uzaveh for small favors.

Did not think anything of it except that last night Noelle mentioned that Spiegel "seemed to have things under control". She laughed and said she was going to get him a bottle of decent alcohol.

If he is the reason I have FINALLY ceased to be harassed by that accursed Tellarite, then he will be receiving TWO bottles of alcohol.

We are not in port for some time. Told Noelle that may pick something from my collection. She picked bottle of single malt scotch. Will part with prized Aldebaran whiskey.

Is worth it to have Lt. Mor *out of my hair*.



 
14th-Jun-2010 08:15 pm - Breathe.
badass
Do not always trust what I see. Ground beneath my feet. Breathe. It is what they taught you, breathe. Works most of time. Touch nearest thing, orient self to present. Come back. 

Know what you see is real.

Sometimes easier said than done. 

Sometimes things you push away, that have stayed buried. Sometimes they come back. 

Know what is real.

Your child is real. Far away, but real. Can't have any part of him sometimes, but he is real.

Woman in your bed, she is real. Warm and real. You love her not wisely but too well, but even if you're an idiot she is still real. Real and solid, despite dream. Will not turn liquid in your hands. Will not turn into anyone else, anything else. Will not pick up phaser, fire it at you, at anyone else. Will not change her face then laugh. Even if should. 

Will want to know some day. She will want to know.

Don't tell. To tell is to go back.

Go forward, not back.

Only forward.

Breathe.

And like Lor'Vela, erase the past.

Seems best. 

Try to sleep now.
14th-Jun-2010 12:52 am - ...
kissyface
I crave your mouth, your voice, your hair.
Silent and starving, I prowl through the streets.
Bread does not nourish me, dawn disrupts me, all day
I hunt for the liquid measure of your steps.

I hunger for your sleek laugh,
your hands the color of a savage harvest,
hunger for the pale stones of your fingernails,
I want to eat your skin like a whole almond.

I want to eat the sunbeam flaring in your lovely body,
the sovereign nose of your arrogant face,
I want to eat the fleeting shade of your lashes,

and I pace around hungry, sniffing the twilight,
hunting for you, for your hot heart,
like a puma in the barrens of Quitratue.
 
 
-- Pablo Neruda
14th-Jun-2010 12:46 am - Among Thavan's books
badass
Is a leather bound volume of poetry by man named Pablo Neruda, who lived on Earth of the twentieth century which I am to understand was one of the golden ages of their culture.

Should tell Thil of this next time accuses humans of having cool blood.

This one could put many Andorians to shame.
14th-Jun-2010 12:32 am - Have been remiss in my duties.
badass
Have not updated. Department has returned to normal finally, but getting all back into a routine has been time consuming and has meant that still working a few double shifts until T'Slav and Zhu have got things under control. Am pleased to report that they have.

Have been working on Thavan's journals and letters. Very much was devotee of human Earth literature and liked to write in that style.

Found a poem of his:

FLY envious Time, till thou run out thy race,
Call on the lazy leaden-stepping hours,
Whose speed is but the heavy Plummets pace;
And glut thy self with what thy womb devours,
Which is no more then what is false and vain,
And meerly mortal dross;
So little is our loss,
So little is thy gain.

Must have written that a very long time ago. Recall him telling this to me when was small.

Will also start finally sorting through his things, in any case, what I have with me here on the ship. Among them are some of the antique books which were in his possession. He had sizable collection of antique Earth books and was responsible for many that were in clan's library.

He wished many of his things to remain with me. Not left behind with the clan. Hope that his journals will reveal the reason.
14th-Jun-2010 12:09 am - Finally heard from Shlev.
badass
He reported excitedly about the ride south, and the beginning of the spring thaw, and cave spiders, and the beasts which were brought down by the party, though he says did not personally bring anything down. Assured him that is like that the first few times, you watch and you learn. Anyway, mostly hunting is watching and waiting, not chasing.

Thinshal and Ushilev went with the party, do not know who else. Surprised to hear latter was present as have not heard from him in many years. Gratified to know Ushilev went as trained him myself once, on his first trip. So had no doubt he would train Shlev as I would.
love
Finally managed to arrange to see Noelle. Said she was doing doubles again and did not have time. She joked however. Always laughing. Laughing at joke only she understands. Something about a "booty call". Don't know what that is. Not in Spiegel's book.

She could not mean tezha. Not once since starting to make tezha has she ever asked for same. Is just at my door. Or am at hers. Or we eat something and then tezha later. There is talk but usually after tezha.

So do not know what this "booty call" is. Will not say no if it's something important. Say yes even if don't know what she is asking.

Off shift now, back to quarters. She is there. In my bed. Asleep. Peaceful, serene. Take off clothes, curl behind her. Will sleep, too. Will try to. Do not need to yet, not for another few hours.

Wrap arm around her waist. Bury face in back of her neck. Feel her stir. Murmurs softly. Is completely undefended for once. Drifts in and out of sleep for a while. Finally stirs and asks me if I am awake.
I apologize. For keeping her waiting. She apologizes. For “passing out on you” as she puts it.
Yawns. Says is too tired for tezha. Everything sore, she says. Is sorry to disappoint me.

She relaxes into my hands. Her muscles are tense, knotted. Falls asleep again finally. Curl around her.

Is alright. Have not disappointed me at all. Sleep, little warrior. Just sleep.
badass
UZAVEH! THORI! THIRIZAZ! DEVOURER! COMFORTER OF THE DEAD! MOTHER OF FAT GRASS! SPIRITS!

Hell with it ALL!

Received note from Thil because SHE has not heard from Shlev EITHER, and SHE is supposed to SEE him! And I learn that it is because of THIS!

Zhavey wrote me:

"I will have you know, my thei, that the boy you insist is your thei is in the south on a hunting trip with his cousins right now. That is all. You will hear from him when he is home in four days, if he chooses to contact you. You are not here to see to this relationship you've secured only with the aliens' laws which have little sway here. And that is still more right than she has. Her time? It is not her time! Her time will be never, she gave up that right when she walked away! She is no member of the family! Why do you insist on involving yourself where you do not belong? There is nothing you can do about this. Accept this, my thei. Only then will you have peace. Until then, I can do nothing for you."

THIL was to take him on that trip! Since when do the rights of these other people come before MINE and THIL'S?

My family will stop at nothing to make sure that Shlev does not see his shreya!

And there is nothing I can do.
8th-Jun-2010 03:35 pm - No Ticky, No Washy.
badass
Perhaps should be more vigilant in my use of these terms.

No Ticky, No Washy caused not a few raised eyebrows. Some research bore out that is an archaic expression.
badass
Did not first hear of from Mr. Spiegel's book. Read cover to cover and somehow missed that one.

That is from Noelle. That is what she said, that things are feast or famine.

Looked it up in the book and sure enough:

Feast or Famine

1. Too much or not enough of something as opposed to a steady, moderate amount. Such as work, food, or income.
2. To have a highly polarized, inconsistent flow of a particular resource or commodity.
 


The feast has been in copious amounts of extremely pleasurable tezha.

When can find time.

The famine is in time.

Hours are double at moment. Which is another case of "feast or famine" because previously, hours were famine, with my hours being cut by sickbay. To be sure my duties have been changed around to accommodate the fact that am still rehabilitating from injury, but it is nonetheless good to be back at my post instead of rotting like a ripe fruit on a vine to drop and be consumed by maggots.

But. Underling of mine had poor sense to return from shore leave. Sick. Now half of department is sick and virus has been making its way through the ship. Asked about it during obligatory meeting with insufferable blue doctor, growling at her to quarantine people so that we can all get back to work. Did not happen. She laughed. Why is she always laughing? Blue lady of torture finally said that the virus will have to just work its way off of the ship. And as seems to be human specific, have little to worry about concerning self.

And to be sure. Noelle's department has been hit too. So. She is also working insane hours. In this virus factory of a ship. Is exposing herself to this PESTILENCE that is making its way from deck to deck.

She called me to arrange to have lunch with me, which I was happy to do. We ate in my quarters. Caught me by surprise that she wished to see me when there is no time for tezha. But it was agreeable to see her. Very agreeable.

Informed her that perhaps I could speak with Lt Cdr Indra. She laughed. Perhaps she is right, I am not being reasonable.

"Please stay away from sick people," I cautioned.

"That's very sweet of you, but it's not possible," she said. "The ship has to run. It's just a little bug, Therav. Anyway, just so you know... if I do get sick... I like grandma's chicken soup."

"Where do I find your gra-"

"No, no. It's in the replicator... 'Grandma's Chicken Soup'."

After all of the tezha this week and her usual situation of having somewhere to be, was starting to think she did not wish to see me when I have my clothes on. Was good to eat with her. All the same, her kiss at the door left me sure there will be tezha later.
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